Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I can count

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Hailee Steinfeld & Josh Allen marry in west coast ceremony - Buffalo Rumblings

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know who the president of Turkey really is

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

Killer Inn is Square Enix’s new ‘murder mystery action’ game - The Verge

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

2 Idaho firefighters killed in ambush, dead man found with gun near Canfield Mountain - NonStop Local KHQ

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I actually pay taxes

The sun's poles have flipped. A spacecraft is watching what happens next. - Mashable

I see through liars

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I have complete contempt for fakery

"Remarkable" Pattern Discovered Behind Prime Numbers, Math's Most Unpredictable Objects - IFLScience

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Reality TV star cited in Las Vegas for battery after knocking man out - AL.com

I don’t cotton to rapists

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Why do I feel bad when I see white girls dating black guys, am I racist?

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

A Giant Mouth Has Opened on The Sun And Even It Looks Surprised - ScienceAlert

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

Repellat quod recusandae rerum adipisci deleniti.

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

Isaacman interested in privately funded science missions - SpaceNews

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Chinese EV Makers Pull Away From Tesla With Sales Gains - Barron's

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I can read

England is launching a gonorrhea vaccine. Is Canada next? - Yahoo

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

What is the reason for The Acolyte (2024 series) having poor reception among Star Wars fans?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have complete contempt for traitorism

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

World Aquatics Takes Tough Stance on Enhanced Games - Newser

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have a reading level above third grade

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t buy bullshit

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write